BDSM Glossary
A comprehensive guide to BDSM terms, roles, practices, and concepts. Education is the foundation of safe, consensual play.
66 terms found
A
Age Play
Consensual role-play between adults where one or both partners adopt a different age persona. Always between consenting adults.
Aftercare
Physical and emotional care given after a BDSM scene. May include cuddling, blankets, water, reassurance, or simply being present.
B
Bottom
The person receiving an action in a scene (e.g., being flogged, tied, or spanked). A bottom is not necessarily submissive.
Brat
A submissive who intentionally misbehaves or tests boundaries to provoke their Dominant's reaction and 'punishment'.
Brat Tamer
A Dominant who specifically enjoys the challenge of dealing with bratty submissives and putting them back in line.
Bondage
The practice of restraining a partner using rope, cuffs, tape, or other devices. Can be decorative (Shibari) or functional.
Ball Gag
A gag with a ball that sits in the mouth, restricting speech. Other types include bit gags, ring gags, and panel gags.
C
Consent
Informed, enthusiastic, ongoing agreement to participate. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. It is the absolute foundation of all BDSM activity.
CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)
A pre-negotiated scene that simulates non-consent. All participants have actually consented in advance with clear safewords.
Collar
A symbol of commitment in D/s dynamics, similar to a wedding ring. Different collar types indicate different stages of a D/s relationship.
Cane
A thin, flexible rod used for impact play. Creates sharp, stinging lines. Rattan and bamboo are traditional materials.
Crop
A riding crop repurposed for BDSM. Has a small leather tip that delivers precise, stinging strikes.
Chastity Device
A device that prevents sexual stimulation or orgasm. Used in orgasm control dynamics. Comes in various materials.
D
Dominant (Dom/Domme)
A person who takes the controlling role in a BDSM dynamic. They guide, direct, and make decisions within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship.
Daddy/Mommy
A nurturing Dominant in a DD/lg or MD/lb dynamic. They provide guidance, care, and structure for their 'little' partner.
D/s (Dominance/submission)
A power exchange dynamic where one partner consensually dominates and the other submits. Can be in the bedroom only or 24/7.
DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl)
A nurturing dynamic where the Daddy Dom provides guidance and care, and the little takes on a childlike persona. Gender-neutral variations exist.
Dungeon
A dedicated space for BDSM play, equipped with furniture and equipment (St. Andrew's crosses, spanking benches, suspension points, etc.).
E
Edge Play
BDSM activities that push the boundaries of safety or psychological limits. Includes breath play, knife play, fire play, etc.
Electrostimulation (E-stim)
Using electrical devices to create sensations on the body — from tingling to intense. Uses specialized BDSM e-stim equipment.
F
Figging
Inserting a peeled ginger root for a burning sensation. A historical punishment technique used in BDSM play.
Flogger
An impact toy with multiple tails attached to a handle. Sensation varies by material — suede is gentle, leather is stingy.
H
Humiliation/Degradation
Consensual verbal or situational humiliation of a submissive partner. Boundaries and limits are crucial in this type of play.
Hard Limit
An activity that is completely off-limits, non-negotiable. Hard limits must always be respected without question.
I
Impact Play
Striking the body for pleasure using hands (spanking), paddles, floggers, canes, or crops. Intensity ranges from gentle to extreme.
K
Kink-Aware Professional (KAP)
A therapist, doctor, or counselor who is educated about BDSM and won't pathologize kink as a disorder.
L
Little
Someone in a DD/lg or similar dynamic who takes on a childlike persona. This is an adult role-play dynamic, not literal.
M
Master/Mistress
A Dominant who engages in ownership-style dynamics (Master/slave). Typically involves deeper protocols, rules, and a more formal power exchange.
Masochist
Someone who derives pleasure from consensually receiving pain. Masochists and sadists often pair together.
M/s (Master/slave)
A deeper form of D/s involving total power exchange (TPE). The Master has extensive control, and the slave serves devotedly.
Munch
A casual, non-sexual social gathering for people in the BDSM/kink community. Usually held at a restaurant or pub.
N
Needle Play
Temporarily inserting sterile needles into the skin. A form of edge play that requires training and proper hygiene.
Negotiation
The discussion before a scene where partners agree on activities, limits, safewords, and aftercare needs.
O
Owner
A Dominant who 'owns' a pet or slave in a consensual power exchange dynamic.
Orgasm Control/Denial
The Dominant controls when (or if) the submissive is allowed to orgasm. Can include edging, chastity devices, or tease and denial.
P
Primal
Someone who engages in raw, instinct-driven play that may include chasing, wrestling, biting, growling, or other animalistic behaviors.
Pet
A submissive who takes on the role of an animal (kitten, puppy, pony, etc.) in a pet play dynamic.
Pet Play
Role-playing where one partner takes on the role of an animal (kitten, puppy, pony) and the other is their handler/owner.
Predicament Bondage
Bondage where the restrained person must choose between two uncomfortable positions or sensations.
PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink)
A framework emphasizing that each person is responsible for their own safety and must be fully informed before consenting.
Protocol
Rules and rituals within a D/s dynamic. Can include forms of address (Sir/Ma'am), positions, service tasks, or behavioral expectations.
Play Party
A social event where BDSM scenes can take place. Usually has rules about consent, safety monitors, and spectator etiquette.
Paddle
A flat implement for spanking. Can be made of wood, leather, or silicone. Creates a broad, thuddy sensation.
R
Rigger
Someone skilled in bondage rope work who ties their partner. Riggers often study various techniques like Shibari.
Rope Bunny
A person who enjoys being tied up, particularly with rope. They are the recipient of a rigger's work.
RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink)
An alternative to SSC that acknowledges inherent risks in BDSM. Participants are aware of and accept the risks involved.
S
Submissive (Sub)
A person who consensually gives up control to a Dominant partner. Submissives may follow rules, protocols, or serve their Dom within negotiated limits.
Switch
Someone who enjoys both Dominant and submissive roles, often switching between them depending on mood, partner, or context.
Slave
A submissive who engages in a consensual total power exchange (TPE), often with extensive rules and protocols under their Master or Mistress.
Sadist
Someone who derives pleasure from consensually inflicting pain (physical or psychological) on a willing partner.
Shibari/Kinbaku
Japanese-style rope bondage that combines artistic beauty with functional restraint. Shibari focuses on patterns, while Kinbaku emphasizes the connection.
Sensory Play
Play that focuses on stimulating or depriving the senses — blindfolds, ice, wax, feathers, or sensory deprivation.
SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual)
A foundational BDSM philosophy: activities should be safe, participants should be of sound mind, and everything must be consensual.
Safeword
A pre-agreed word or signal that immediately stops all play. The traffic light system (Red=stop, Yellow=slow down, Green=continue) is commonly used.
Soft Limit
An activity that a person is hesitant about but may be willing to explore under the right circumstances with the right partner.
Sub Drop
An emotional or physical low experienced after a scene, sometimes hours or days later. Caused by the drop in endorphins and adrenaline.
Subspace
An altered mental state achieved by a submissive during intense play, caused by endorphin release. Can feel floaty, euphoric, or trance-like.
Scene
A planned BDSM interaction or play session between partners, with a beginning, middle, and end.
Spreader Bar
A rigid bar with cuffs at each end, used to keep a person's limbs apart during bondage.
St. Andrew's Cross
An X-shaped frame used for standing bondage. The person is secured to the cross with cuffs or rope.
T
Top
The person who performs an action in a scene (e.g., the one flogging, tying, or spanking). Not always the same as Dominant — a top can be submissive.
Top Drop
Similar to sub drop but experienced by the Dominant/Top. They may feel guilt, sadness, or emotional exhaustion after intense play.
TPE (Total Power Exchange)
A 24/7 dynamic where one partner has control over many or all aspects of the other's life, within negotiated boundaries.
V
Violet Wand
An electrical device that produces a static-like shock through a glass electrode. Used for electrostimulation play.
W
Wax Play
Dripping warm candle wax onto a partner's skin for sensation. Special low-temperature candles are recommended.
Wartenberg Wheel
A small pinwheel with sharp points originally designed for neurological testing, now used for sensory play on the skin.
Important Note
All BDSM activities must be between consenting adults. Education, communication, and safety are essential. If you're new to BDSM, start slowly, educate yourself, and always discuss boundaries with your partner(s).